If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry.'
Wahlberg has apologized profusely for his lightning-rod remarks -- but the pocket pundits of Tumblr and other meme machines have already had their say. Check out the following slide show for some of the most notable examples of Wahlberg-inspired Internet art.
Emma Mustich is a Salon contributor. Follow her on Twitter: @emustich.