Salon limerick contest

Triumphant and silly poems about the election

By Alex Halperin
Published November 9, 2012 3:48PM (EST)

Salon readers assess the results in five line verse:


Now NBC has a good reason,

To air “The Apprentice” this season:

For the public’s engrossed,

When its bigoted host,

Foments revolution and treason.

John Dillon

News Short n’ Sweet

@JFD8 on Twitter


It’s hard not to sound off and quote,

All the brain rot that sunk Romney’s boat,

Or to shout, “You unsightly,

Extremist nuts, bite me!”

But I’m far too enlightened to gloat.

Johanna Richmond

Red Hook N.Y.


I got rich by myself, so should you.

If you were smart you would know what to do,

First you pick the right dad,

Then you take what he had,

And keep those lower from starting a coup.

Kim Anderson

Gilbert, Ariz.


"Vote for me," Mitt Romney just said.

"Or else the economy's dead."

A plea or a threat,

Or him hedging his bet,

On congressional gridlock ahead?

Mike Moulton
Gainesville, Fla


There once was a dog named Seamus,

Whose owner had made him famous,

By strapping him to the roof,

Poor ol’ Seamus could say only, "Woof!"

As the contents shot from his anus.

Linda Moore

Hesperia, Calif.


At long last this great day has arrived!

And we wonder just how we survived.

The unseemly abundance,

Of rude, loutish pundits,

And the lies they so proudly contrived!

Gary Sandy

Woodland, Calif.


Since a visit from Hurricane Sandy,

All-a sudden the Government’s dandy.

A new friendship will forge,

And Chris Christie will gorge,

On tax money as if it were candy.

Kit Thornton

Charles Town, W.V.


Deadline for the next contest is Sunday November 18 at 5p.m. Send your submissions to Good luck!

Alex Halperin

Alex Halperin is news editor at Salon. You can follow him on Twitter @alexhalperin.

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