Last night, Jon Stewart played a little game of "Make Fox News Mad Libs" to try to predict Fox News' outrage over the so-called "War on Christmas." Because, Jon said, despite what Fox News may say, "the rest of us can't swing a dead elf without knocking over an inflatable snow globe or a giant blinking candy cane. For God sakes, Fox News itself is located in midtown Manhattan, the epicenter of all that is godless, secular, gay, Jewy and hellbound, and yet even here, all around your studio, it looks like Santa's balls exploded."
Jillian Rayfield is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on politics. Follow her on Twitter at @jillrayfield or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.