9 ways Coachella is like hell

Thousands flock to the concert in Indio, Calif., each year. Why?

Published April 17, 2014 2:36PM (EDT)

 (Reuters/Mario Anzuoni)
(Reuters/Mario Anzuoni)

Every year, hordes of young people pay thousands of dollars to participate in Coachella, a place that can easily be summarized by this quote from a seven-time 22-year-old concert veteran: “The number of Coachella virgins increases every year, and, if anything, they’re really into the image aspect.” They crash diet, stock up on netted tank tops and headbands, listen to DJ Tiesto nonstop (probably), and then alight on the Coachella Valley to spend days sweating in a field and waiting in bathroom lines. As Coachella slideshows flood the Internet, it's hard not to feel the nagging suspicion that this may just be the worst place in the world. So here are nine of the many ways Coachella actually looks like a scorched, drunken hellscape:

It is so hot. In April:

via Fred von Lohmann/Flickr

These guys are there:

via Reuters, Scott Penner/Flickr

So are these ladies (and gentleman):

via Fred von Lohmann/Flickr

The ratio of fedoras and Raybans to human heads is unnaturally high:

You might contract plague:

[embedtweet id="456489792742510592"]

This is a scene from the festival at night, but possibly during the day, or maybe a picture of someone's soul after a week at Coachella. Hard to tell, really:

via Malcolm Murdoch/Flickr

You’re perpetually unsure whether you are experiencing a drug-induced nightmare, or are simply awake:

It's enough to make someone do crazy things:

This woman lived to tell the tale. Don't go to CoacHELLa:

By Prachi Gupta

Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at pgupta@salon.com.

MORE FROM Prachi Gupta

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Coachella Douchebags Existentialism Partying Video