"Words cannot express how extraordinarily happy I am," writes journalist Stephanie Smith. "Not because I have an engagement ring, but because I’m going to spend the rest of my life having ridiculously amazing adventures with my soul mate. My mouth hurts from smiling."
Presumably her husband-to-be's mouth hurts from eating sandwiches.
Katie McDonough is Salon's politics writer, focusing on gender, sexuality and reproductive justice. Follow her on Twitter @kmcdonovgh or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.