This week, Blake Lively launched her own lifestyle website, Preserve (yes, its actual name) -- the result was terrifying. Why is it that the blandest celebrities are the ones who have the lifestyle websites? Lively, like Gwyneth Paltrow, has maintained a perfectly manufactured image, with a persona about as radiant as burned toast. Where's the fun in that? If anything, it's the following people who should have lifestyle websites -- the Derek Zoolanders of our world, the celebrities who have no business telling us how to live. Their lifestyles may not be worth emulating, but their websites would be way more fun:
Description: Welcome to Jenny's Club, like the URL says! You can count on the Jenny community to keep you up to date on the latest trends and keep you informed about what's really going on!
Sample product: A box set of all of Alex Jones's documentaries, with a video message from McCarthy herself.
Description: You were expecting that cheeky porn site, weren't you! Well Ricky Gervais has purchased it and now everyone at work knows you're a pervert! [video of autoplays of Ricky mocking user for looking at porn]
Sample Product: A limited edition "That Was Easy" button by Staples, recorded with Ricky Gervais's voice.
Description: FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM!
Sample product: *****Follow me on Instagram****** (just a link, really).
Sample product: (There is no product. There is only Shia.) And a PayPal link to donate money to himself.
Description: A lifestyle site for idiots. Gay people need not apply, HA! You all look like hell, you idiots.
Sample product: An authentic recording of Joan Rivers performing a cover of "Turn Down for What."