Glenn Beck has finally come up with a plan to fix one of the world's gravest problems: Women do not have enough things they can purchase that will make them feel better about their physical appearance. The conservative pundit made an important announcement on Thursday to let the women of America know how he's going to help them fulfill their "fundamental God given right" to...well, "to feel pretty."
Inspired by his daughters and his wife ("who is a little more like the current runway models"), Beck has decided to introduce denim to his 1791 Supply & Co. clothing line. And he made that introduction, as Right Wing Watch so aptly puts it, in "pretty much the most sanctimonious way imaginable" via Facebook:
Today I make good on a decade old promise to myself and my daughters.
Years ago when my oldest daughters were teenagers I would take them to the mall to buy new clothes.
I hated it. But not for the reason one might think.
I don't mind shopping with women for clothes. I love to see them dress up, try new things and see their eyes light up when they know "this is the one".
I could join the chorus of men and women who complain they can't find anything age appropriate or modest for their daughters.
But my trouble was not only that, mine stems from the fact that while growing up my daughter was a dress size SMALLER than America's most famous model and sex symbol Marilyn Monroe.
God forbid a designer makes anything cool that would fit her! Most American women are shaped like Norma Jean not the 12 year old boy shaped models covering the walls of the 'cool stores'. [...]
Today I make good on that promise. 1791 is proud to announce our new line of women's Denim. We begin with denim jacket and jeans.
They were designed for and tested on all the girls in my life. It has taken us almost two years to get the design just right.
I am proud that finally I can rest knowing any dad who feels the way I do about the most beautiful girl ever born, my daughter, will be able to feel that way when she slips into her favorite jeans, blouse and jacket.
My wife who is a little more like the current runway models and my daughter who is more classic both can wear and love their new 1791s.
I kind of think it is one of those fundamental God given rights. To feel pretty.
Because you are.
Beck goes on to say that the denim line will eventually include a range of different shapes and sizes (interesting that it doesn't already, given the backstory...) because "it is time we celebrate real diversity." Of course, each pair of jeans costs between $150 and $175, which Beck's fans promptly noticed -- and bemoaned, given that the average woman can't actually afford to spend more than $100 on a single pair of pants.
"That's a nice story and a nice idea, but I wonder if Glenn could have paid $160 for a single pair of jeans back then?" one fan wrote. "Ouch. I think you've lost touch with what it's like to live on the edge in modern day middle-income America. If I bought a pair of your jeans, if have to use this week's grocery [money]. And then some. Sigh."