All these videotapes of unarmed black men being executed by cops are really starting to grate on Fox Newsians. On Friday’s stellar discussion on “The Five,” Eric Bolling and Kimberly Guilfoyle had to struggle to find a way to blame the black guy again. They were forced to grudgingly admit that Samuel DuBose should not have been shot and killed by Cincinnati cop Ray Tensing.
“It’s tough because look, first of all it’s a tragedy,” Bolling ventured. “There’s another instance where someone had a missing front license plate and ends up dead.”
But still, Bolling really feels, “everyone is rushing this,” even the prosecutor. “I’m not defending this at all, but people have to realize you can’t resist arrest.”
So, actually he is defending it.
“This guy is taking off,” he continued. “I don’t think that cop was fearing for his life, so I think he’ll probably be found guilty, but stop resisting.”
Yes, unarmed black people, stop making cops shoot you.
Guilfoyle agreed that the people who put themselves in danger are to blame, rather than the ones doing the shooting.
“Time and time again, it always comes down to someone getting hurt, getting killed, by bad decisions by a cop,” Bolling said. “But those decisions wouldn’t have been made if the perp didn’t run away. Can you imagine what society would be like if everyone thought, if I just run away that cop can’t chase me? We’d be a lawless society.”
So, thank goodness, the Fox Newsians were able to preserve their world view of innocent cops forced to make bad decisions by unruly black people. It’s getting harder and harder.
2. Pres. Huckabee would stop abortions by any means necessary.
Mike Huckabee is nothing if not open-minded. One of the things he appears to be open-minded about is using the FBI or federal troops to prevent women from having abortions.
"I will not pretend there is nothing we can do to stop this," the Huckster told a reporter at a campaign stop in Iowa.
Reporter Matt Taibbi tweeted that when he asked Huckabee if he would send the National Guard to shut down abortion clinics, Huckabee replied: "We'll see if I get to be president," then added, "All American citizens should be protected."
By which he apparently does not mean women exercising their lawful rights or the doctors who help them.
3. Trump calmly explains he called a lawyer who was deposing him “disgusting” because “she wanted to pump breast milk in front of him.” That’s all. Now do you understand?
Another charming moment from Donald Trump’s past emerged this week from 2011, when a lawyer representing clients who wanted their deposits back for a failed real estate venture was deposing him.
When the time came for a lunch break, attorney Elizabeth Beck had planned on pumping breast milk for her infant. Trump decided he did not want to take a break and became furious when she mentioned the reason she needed a break.
“He got up, his face got red, he shook his finger at me and he screamed, ‘You’re disgusting, you’re disgusting,’ and he ran out of there,” Beck told CNN this week. She called the incident an “absolute meltdown.”
But Trump and his lawyer Alan Garten told CNN there was a perfectly good reason for that hissy fit. “She was disgusting,” Garten told CNN in a phone interview. “She was attempting to breast feed.”
Wow, that is disgusting. It appears that Trump and his lawyer have similar vocabularies. Also, doesn’t Elizabeth Beck know what breasts are for? They’re for augmenting and parading in a Miss Universe pageant bathing suit. Yeesh!
4. Donald Trump wants Sarah Palin in his cabinet because she’s “special.”
Donald Trump is very fond of Sarah Palin. Because, of course he is. Come to think of it, they make a pretty sweet political couple. They both spew an incredible amount of so-called patriotic bile, have limited vocabularies and share xenophobic world views. Palin even backed Trump up after his little dustup with Palin’s former benefactor John McCain. She said Trump is a “hero” too.
The Donald retuned the favor when he called Mama Grizzly a “really special person” this week, and suggested she might be someone he would tap for his cabinet.
Chew on that nightmarish scenario for a while.
Trump divulged this dandy little cabinet spoiler to the co-host of Sarah Palin’s radio show (yes, she has a radio show, because, of course she does. She has to get her message out now that Fox cut her loose). The host, Kevin Scholla, asked Trump whether he could see himself bringing Governor Palin “along in some capacity,” like “picking up the phone, giving [her] a call and picking her brain on some things.”
Sure, Trump responded, “I’d love that. Because she really is somebody who knows what’s happening and she’s a special person, she’s really a special person and I think people know that.” From there, he expanded the praise to “everyone loves Palin” because she is “smart” and “tough.” She’s just what the world needs now.
How wonderful would it be if Trump were to choose Sarah Palin as his running mate? If that does not bring Jon Stewart out of retirement, or spawn a thousand comic careers, nothing will. It’s gold-plated comedy gold on mega-steroids. We can’t even come up with enough superlatives for that. Trump can’t even come up with enough superlatives for that. No one can. That’s how golden it is.
5. Sarah Palin immediately proves just how “smart” and “tough” she is.
The idiot from Alaska demonstrated some of her Trump-approved “toughness” and “smartness” this week when she asserted that Planned Parenthood was deadlier to blacks than the Confederate Flag.
This truly awful woman espoused this view on her disturbingly popular Facebook page, which alas has 4.4 million likes.
The absurd and offensive meme puts Palin squarely in right-wing conspiracy nut Alex Jones territory. Insane kook Jomes claims that Planned Parenthood is a conspiracy to kill black babies, as if he might care (Actually, Sarah Palin is worse. The elevation of the Confederate Flag is her own unique touch.) Her war on Planned Parenthood, and the numerous life-saving health services it provides to women of all races puts her squarely in the mainstream of the Republican party.
6. Fox News Host Tantaros on the role of modern women.
Twenty-first century Fox Newisan Andrea Tantaros is nothing if not up-to-date in her views on modern women. She thoroughly enjoyed a recent Glamour magazine article which included tips on how to keep your man happy. And she was deeply disappointed when the magazine retracted the piece because—with tips like making your man a sandwich after sex, and getting him a beer when he comes out of the shower—it was not seen as very empowering to women. Actually, it was downright misogynist.
“Look at this list, it has great suggestions in here!” Tantaros said. “After you engage in a little horizontal hula, make him a sandwich. That’s not called 1950s. That’s called kindness. And frankly, I think women should do a little more of that.”
Yeah, you know. She’s right. What is wrong with that? More kindness, flowing from women to men is what the world needs now.
“What’s wrong with giving your man a brewski when he comes out of the shower?” Tantaros asked.
Comedian Ryan Reiss did not get that one. “Who needs a brewski out of the shower? What, are you dating Don Draper? What’s going on? I’ve never gotten out of the shower and been like, ‘I need to get drunk quick.'”
Co-host Stacey Dash jumped in to express some feminist solidarity with Tantaros.
“You don’t have the right woman. I think that’s why divorce rates are so high. Women don’t know how to take care of their men anymore.”
Also, wives should greet their husbands in lingerie, Tantaros said, or “maybe he’ll run off with the neighbor.”
That’s just what she calls “kindness.” You may have a different definition.