If your love for the '90s Nickelodeon classic "Blues Clues" hasn't already been tainted by any of the five-thousand conspiracy theories involving departed host Steve Burns, allow Michael Keaton to take care of that for you!
In a cut-for-time "SNL" sketch, recently resurfaced by Mashable, Keaton plays Steve, a sexual deviant who has routinely performed unspeakable acts with his sentient household appliances.
With most "SNL" sketches that end up on the cutting room floor, the basis for that decision often seems shrouded in mystery (like, Dwayne Johnson's daisy-dancing sketch -- what was up with that?). With "Children's Child"? Well, just have a look for yourself, below.