As GOP debates become bi-weekly affairs, with anti-everything soundbites consumed by the 24-hour white noise cycle, last night's debate promised all the edge-of-your-seat excitement (and none of the substance) of a Philosophy 101 syllabus.
Luckily for all of us, Patton Oswalt did the due diligence of not only watching, but translating the snooze-button debate into 140 characters worth paying attention to--albeit with some necessary help:
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On Carson:
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On Trump:
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On Rubio:
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On foreign policy:
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On the cute li'l "game show" bell:
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On Phil Collins:
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In summation:
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And in conclusion:
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