In an op-ed published Monday in USA Today Republican front-runner Donald Trump decided that the vigorous support of torture he's espoused at the last two GOP debates didn't adequately express his love of extra-legal leverage, so he needed to make it absolutely clear that his support of "enhanced interrogation techniques" is, in fact, absolute.
"These techniques came into the social discourse after the events of 9/11 and the capture of enemy combatants and terrorists," an adviser familiar with the term "social discourse" wrote under Donald J. Trump's byline. "Depending on the source, these techniques allowed officials to glean significant information about operations hostile to the United States."
"However," Trump continued, "there has also been significant push-back against what some have called torture. I am running for president and feel it is important for the American people to know exactly how I feel about this important topic."
"I have made it clear in my campaign that I would support and endorse the use of enhanced interrogation techniques if the use of these methods would enhance the protection and safety of the nation," he wrote. "Though the effectiveness of many of these methods may be in dispute, nothing should be taken off the table when American lives are at stake."
After having declared that even ineffective methods of torture should be used "just in case," Trump argued that "[t]he enemy is cutting off the heads of Christians and drowning them in cages" -- an impressive feats, admittedly, drowning already beheaded heads -- but "we are too politically correct to respond in kind."