Something about Ted Cruz is just a bit off. The latest evidence of Cruz's weirdness came during CNN's Town Hall event on Wednesday, when his wife Heidi told a truly bizarre anecdote about their days as newlyweds. Here is Heidi's tale in her own words, as transcribed by Gawker:
When I married Ted, we got back from our honeymoon, and he went off to the store and came home by himself. And I was completely shocked to see that he arrived back at our apartment with literally 100 cans of Campbell’s Chunky soup. I never bought 100 of anything.
This was shocking to me, so we had a tough conversation about it. I said, “You don’t buy 100 of anything, much less canned soup. We can’t do this. I’ll be making things.” He said, “No, I know you. you won’t be making things.”
So the next morning, it was a weekend morning, I loaded up our car before he woke up and returned every single can. And when I got home, I called my mother just to make sure I’d done the right thing as a newlywed. And she emphatically disagreed with me. And so when Ted opened the pantry, I had to quickly tell him that I would go back and buy those cans again.
Presumably Heidi intended for this little story to be endearing, but it just came across as very strange. Was buying 100 cans of soup a backhanded swipe at his new wife's cooking skills? More importantly, what was the reaction of the grocery store clerk to a young woman returning and then frantically repurchasing 100 cans of soup?
Below are some other highlights from Cruz's long history of making people uneasy:
1. Young Ted liked to strut his stuff for the ladies in a paisley bathrobe
As an undergrad, Cruz weirded the hell out of his Princeton classmates with his "habit of donning a paisley bathrobe and walking to the opposite end of their dorm’s hallway where the female students lived," according to The Daily Beast. The women eventually appealed to Cruz's roommate to help keep the creepy Cruz at bay.
2. Cruz's office decor includes an oil painting. Of himself.
As recounted in GQ's 2013 profile, Cruz adorned his Senate office with a giant oil painting of himself arguing before the Supreme Court as a young lawyer. "From the artist’s vantage point, we see three other courtroom artists, each also drawing Cruz—so the painting actually features not one but four images of young Cruz before the bench," GQ noted. "It is helpful for keeping one grounded," Cruz explained.
3. That time he licked something disgusting off of his lip at a debate
4. Cruz memorized the Constitution in high school
As a teenager, Cruz memorized a mnemonic version of the Constitution and travelled throughout Texas to recite the document as a performance piece for (presumably bewildered) Rotary Clubs as the star of a roving troupe called the Constitutional Corroborators.
5. He knows "The Princess Bride" by heart (and does a weirdly spot-on impression)