Retired "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart — equipped with achievement beard — returned to late night television on Thursday night, taking over Stephen Colbert's "Late Show" to "talk about the election for a little bit." The "Late Show" this week has aired live after each night of the Republican National Convention.
"The Republicans appear to have a very clear plan for America," Stewart said. "They articulated it throughout the convention: one, jail your opponent; two, inject Rudy Giuliani with a speedball and Red Bull enema; and then, three, spend the rest of the time scaring the holy bejesus out of everybody."
He noted the rhetorical gymnastics that conservative Republicans, having nominated Donald Trump, will now have to perform in order to justify backing a "thin-skinned," "divisive" "political outsider" — all disqualifications lobbed at Barack Obama in 2008.
"I'm not an expert on racial unity," he admitted. "But I do believe that some of our more vaunted historical leaders in that area did retweet white supremacists less than Trump."
Stewart mocked Fox News pundit Sean Hannity for his 180 degree turn on the same elitism he alleged of Obama eight years prior. Whereas in 2008 Hannity bashed Obama ("President Poupon") for ordering his burger with dijon mustard, in 2016 he praised Trump as a "blue-collar billionaire."
"That's not a thing," Stewart said of the oxymoronic term invented by Donald Trump Jr., the nominee's eldest reptilian son. "It is true. Trump does seem like the kind of guy you want to sit down and own a fleet of airplanes with."