Stephen Colbert's "Late Show" broadcast live after the first presidential debate on Monday night.
"Trump sounded like he was fighting off a cold with cocaine," Colbert said of the Republican nominee's irritating sniffle. "He sounded like the coked-up best man in the bathroom at a wedding." Colbert continued, "He was like Scarface, but, you know, with more face."
Colbert called Trump's claim that his strongest asset is his temperament "the biggest lie of the debate," adding, "Of course, we'll never know if his temperament is his strongest asset because he won't release his tax returns."
Added Colbert: "So we got through it. We managed to get through 90 minutes of these two people on stage going at each other's throats. And in the end, there's really only one word that summed up how this whole debate — this whole election — feels," he continued, cueing a montage of Trump saying "wrong" on Monday night. "The only phrase he says more often is 'I do.'"