Melania Trump does not want anyone to know that she ever liked you

Melania is important. Melania is big. Melania isn't happy to see you

Published October 14, 2016 1:07PM (EDT)

Melania Trump   (AP/Charles Rex Arbogast)
Melania Trump (AP/Charles Rex Arbogast)

Melania Trump does not want to be your friend.

Melania doesn't want people to know she liked you. She doesn't want people to know that she once bumped into you — you, someone not worthy of her husband's alleged leers and sexual assaults. She wants you to retract the story — but not the part where you accused her husband of pushing you against a wall and forcing his tongue down your throat. No, the part where she was friendly to you. That has to go.

Melania didn't run into you on the street on a cold day in front of her husband's magnificent building after a funeral. She didn't wonder how you were doing, and there's no way she asked you, "Why don't we see you anymore?" There is absolutely, positively no way that Melania ever gave you a hug. You see, Melania certainly doesn't care about you.

When Melania threatens you that she'll "consider" her "legal options," know that it's because of these "false" statements. Quite frankly, knowing you and being friendly to you is so defamatory that's it has damaged her reputation.

And finally, when she threatens you, Melania will do it with only the slightest hint of punctuation — and nothing else. She is Melania.

By Jeremy Binckes

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Donald Trump Sexual Assault Donald Trump Sexual Assault Allegations Melania Trump