"The Daily Show's" Senior Women's Issues Correspondent Kristen Schaal has been inspired by the message of Susan Patton, aka Princeton Mom, who preaches a message of "panic and desperation" that urges young women to snag a husband in college before us ladies become worthless ugly hags.
Everyone knows that it's a fact "based on an opinion" that "your precious eggs are just jumping off your vagina like sinking eggs on a ship." That's why Schaal launched K-Date, the leading "kindergarten singles network" to "start the husband hunt before they are all gone."
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