The Fix

Robert Downey Jr. says he's clean; is that a halo on George Bush? and Catherine Zeta-Jones says she mates for life. Plus: Jade Jagger has a mouth like a sailor!

Published October 14, 2003 1:30PM (EDT)

Robert Downey Jr. says he is really, truly off drugs this time. The genius actor says he was clean and sober during the filming of the movie version of the PBS monster hit series "The Singing Detective." Downey says it's all about a personal commitment. And, apparently, ultimatums. His girlfriend, film producer Susan Levin, has told him, "Don't do anymore or I'm splitting." (ABC News)

BuzzFlash asks, is this "the single most compromising photo run by a wire service during the era of the Bush cartel. This isn't a news photograph; it's a Kremlin-like propaganda shot meant to invoke a halo."

The Beatles' Apple Corp. (that is, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and the estate of George Harrison) has decided not to put the group's massive catalog online. No explanation was given. A spokesman said only, "I do not think there is any reason for it at all." (BBC)

Speaking of British rockers, Mick Jagger's daughter, jewelry designer Jade Jagger, got her panties in a bunch the other day when she saw actress Jane March wearing a competitor's baubles at the World Music Awards in Monte Carlo. Jade reportedly asked, "What the hell are you wearing?" and when March said, "Ferretti," the young Jagger screamed, "Not the f---ing dress, the diamonds!" Then it got nasty, with Jane promising Jade that she'd wear her stuff next time and Jade replying, "No you f---ing won't!" What happened to girl's best friend and all that? (3amGirls)

Michael Douglas is in the gossip pages as much as he's on-screen these days. His ex-wife Diandra Douglas is threatening to write an autobiography, and she's not doing it for the money -- she got $64 million in the divorce settlement. Meanwhile, Michael's current wifey, the ubiquitous Catherine Zeta-Jones, says she'll never get a divorce, saying that it's not in her nature to quit and that people from Wales stay with their mates for life. "Look at other stars who have come from my area -- Tom Jones has been married to his Linda for 47 years and Richard Burton never really got over Elizabeth Taylor." That second one wasn't a good example, Cathy. (IMDB)

Things not to do when you're famous:

No. 1: Use a public bathroom and then waltz right out of it without washing your hands -- particularly when there are other people around taking notes. Alas, Cameron Diaz has learned that lesson a little too late. The actress was spotted earlier this week "exiting the lavatory at Nobu without washing her hands." Nope, not even a perfunctory splash at the sink to put her fellow loo-goers' minds at ease. Ick. (Page Six)

No. 2: Fight with your boyfriend in public, then run away leaving him to fume about you within earshot of, well, people taking notes. Chelsea Clinton has apparently just learned that one the hard way. She and her beau, Ian Klaus, were said to be "very distant" and barely on speaking terms during a night out last Friday night. And after the former first daughter skipped out in a cab, Klaus was seen walking up the street with his friends "kicking things along the street, like he was angry. He said, 'I love her, but I hate her.'" Probably by now, the feeling's mutual there, Ian. (Rush and Molloy)

No. 3: Piss off the editors of magazines read by people you'd like to have like you. This one goes out to Sen. Joe Lieberman, who alone among the Democratic presidential hopefuls refused to respond to Blender magazine's survey of the candidates' pop-music predilections. Candidates were asked to name their favorite artists and favorite Beatle, as well as whom they'd like to have perform at their inaugural ball. Vermont Gov. Howard Dean (loves Wyclef Jean and George Harrison), Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry (likes the Rolling Stones, the Grateful Dead and John Lennon, and wants Moby at his inaugural ball), North Carolina Sen. John Edwards (admires Bruce Springsteen but would book John Mellencamp for his ball), Carol Mosely Braun (a Keith Jarrett fan), Dennis Kucinich (loves all of the Beatles), Dick Gephardt (digs Eric Clapton and Paul McCartney) and Al Sharpton (big into James Brown, Michael Jackson and the late Sam Cooke) all found the time to respond to Blender. But Lieberman apparently couldn't be bothered. "I don't want to make too much of it," snipped editor Craig Marks. "but I'd venture a guess that Lieberman is the least sympathetic toward the popular culture, and the least sympathetic to rock 'n' roll and pop music." There goes the young-people vote. (Lloyd Grove's Lowdown)

Best of the Rest
Page Six: Roy Horn said to be recovering apace from tiger attack. Says buddy Steve Wynn, "He's gonna have all his cognitive and verbal skills. He was breathing on his own without the respirator the entire day Sunday"; style editor Amy Spindler leaving N.Y. Times Magazine to battle brain cancer. Successor not yet picked; Entertainment Weekly pleads for return of photo of Clay Aiken, brazenly swiped right off the wall at party for magazine's Photo Issue; Vera Wang said to be "furious" that she provided Jennifer Lopez with a $15,000-$20,000 gown gratis for her wedding to Ben Affleck and now won't even get the publicity she counted on in exchange.

Rush and Molloy: Mariah Carey picks up divahood where Jennifer Lopez leaves off, books the four most expensive suites at Monte Carlo's Hotel de Paris for her own sweet self and demands fresh flowers, six humidifiers, an exercise bike and special lighting effects, racks up a bill of $47,500 for a two-night stay; Nike buys Kobe Bryant out of $45 million endorsement contract for a mere $1.5 mill; Elle Macpherson, just back from being treated for depression, may be splitting up with the father of her two kids, Arkie Busson; Hugh Grant threatens to retire from showbiz, alternately citing boredom and fear.

Boldface Names: At New York premiere for "The Singing Detective," Woody Harrelson breezes down red carpet in tan jacket, FBI cap and wide pants that may have been made of hemp; Katie Holmes and Chris Klein refuse to answer questions about their relationship; Robert Downey Jr. says working with Mel Gibson on the film was good, but rather high-pressure: "That's the two faces of Mel. It's like, 'You guys, whatever you need to do, just finish on time and on budget or I'll crucify you.'"

--Amy Reiter

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By Karen Croft

Karen Croft is the editor of Salon Sex.

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