CNN discovers Jessica Simpson's breasts

What kind of breaking news is this? "Story highlights" include the singer's cup size


Mary Elizabeth Williams
November 5, 2009 1:05AM (UTC)

The headline reads "Jessica Simpson finds a bosom buddy."  It's the day after an election; there's a potentially deciding World Series match tonight, but in the world of entertainment, thank heaven for those Simpson hooters.

When Simpson replied to a Twitter update from the similarly endowed Dolly Parton on the subject of back pain ("You lug these around and see if your back don't hurt!") with an "Amen, sister!" CNN promptly posted the news, with a helpful charticle of salient factoids. "The singers' cup size -- double D -- has been a hot topic throughout their careers."

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The story then went on to chronicle the history of both women's breasts in popular entertainment, from Parton's prior complaints about her assets to Simpson's cleavage-flaunting appearance at the Grand Ole Opry earlier this year.

While their physiques have indeed served the singers well in both their careers, it's hard to imagine CNN devoting story time to, say, Mark Wahlberg's abs. Instead, its entertainment page today is awash in lady curves -- there's a story about "How Tyra Banks lost 30 pounds" and Kirstie Alley's new weight-loss reality show. But if you want a masculine entertainment story, Josh Duhamel is "batteling" (sic) allegations of a one-night stand.

And there you have the CNN entertainment newscape in a nutshell. Women battle their bodies, men battle strippers. Say amen, sister.

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Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "A Series of Catastrophes & Miracles."

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