Gwyneth Paltrow joins Twitter, "21st century"

The singer/actress/mother/chef/author finds another way to carefully monitor her contrived image

Published June 1, 2011 9:12PM (EDT)

Gwyneth sets her sites on social media.
Gwyneth sets her sites on social media.

Public service announcement time, so everyone huddle up: Gwyneth Paltrow is on Twitter. Expect random thoughts and commentary from the star, as well as totally "on the fly" videos taken her macrobiotic iPhone today.

Or is it even today? The account was activated this morning and her first tweet was just a link to this WhoSay video, but already I'm sensing some pre-meditated editing of Paltrow's tweetsona. Because it looks like she's walking around New York, and it's 100 degrees today, definitely not pantsuit-with-a-jacket weather.

So did she pre-film this, and then wait for the perfect chance to unleash it on the world, or totally overdress to walk around scaffolding?

And not to be too nitpicky about the continuity errors, but when Gwyneth says she's just looking for a cab -- like any mom who lives a hectic life in the 21st century and doesn't have a limousine filled with rosé and $80 pajama pants ready to take her back to a chateau filled with flaming ducks being thrown into pools -- I think you can see the reflection of said limousine behind those Porta-Potties she walks by.

Think about it: This is a lady who once gave her newsletter subscribers the advice to "police your thoughts." Her carefully constructed mirage of white pantsuits and "regular person" hair isn't going to fool anyone with the illusion of normality and intimacy. Though to be fair, most celebrities use Twitter like a bullhorn instead of a telephone, so the possibility that these tweets are as manufactured as her singing shouldn't make you feel tricked. Just think of it as micro-Gooping.

By Drew Grant

Drew Grant is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @videodrew.

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