1. Masochistic fun of the day: Universal Studios is going ahead with a "Hostel"-themed maze. Says film creator Eli Roth, "People will have a chance to experience some exact moments from their favorite 'Hostel' scenes, along with some new surprises." Torture porn for the whole family, really? (Children under 13 not recommended for the experience.)
2. Oprah's green thumb of the day: You can tell that OWN is having problems when it starts to recycle old clips from "The Oprah Winfrey Show" so people will actually tune in.
3. Kitler news of the day: Oh no! Nobody will adopt the kitten that looks like Hitler. The shelter says it's because the cat bears unfortunate marks that resemble the fascist German leader -- but naming it "Kitler" probably didn't help matters, either.
4. Time-travel of the day: This 1995 MTV news segment about the Internet is priceless. If only Moby could go back in time and tell his former self to buy stock in Google, maybe then we'd still be talking about Moby.
5. "Glee" fight of the day: Ryan Murphy blames his stars for killing a possible spinoff show that they allegedly knew nothing about. Well, this should make next season fun.