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Worst job posting ever?

There's a job for you in publishing if you've never been late, know your place, don't gossip and stay off the Web

David Daley
December 13, 2012 4:05AM (UTC)

Looking for a job in publishing? Do you want to get paid? No? Great! There are openings you might be interested in at Dalkey Archive Press.

If it all goes well, you could work in the experimental press' London office someday. But for now, according to the posting that went up this week, "the pool of candidates for positions will be primarily derived from unpaid interns in the first phase of this process, although one or two people may be appointed with short-term paid contracts."


Now: Do you have any family obligations that might get in the way of your work? Do you want to take holidays? No? Perfect!

Are you OK with a probationary period? Let me tell you a little about it:

Any of the following will be grounds for immediate dismissal during the probationary period: coming in late or leaving early without prior permission; being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work; submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument; failing to respond to emails in a timely way; not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial; making repeated mistakes; violating company policies. DO NOT APPLY if you have a work history containing any of the above.

Well, that rules out most of us.

If you still qualify, the complete posting is here.

David Daley

David Daley is the author of "Unrigged: How Americans Are Battling Back to Save Democracy" and a senior fellow at FairVote.

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