COMMENTARY

Would dating Roman Roy be so bad? A defense of the "Succession" slime puppy

Sure the youngest Roy has intimacy issues, but he's arguably the smartest and most empathetic, with a heart of gold

By Alison Stine

Staff Writer

Published March 28, 2023 3:00PM (EDT)

Kieran Culkin in "Succession" (Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO)
Kieran Culkin in "Succession" (Photograph by Macall B. Polay/HBO)

Slime puppy. Little worm. Someone who "couldn't get a job in a burger joint." These are but a taste of the many, many insults lobbed at Roman Roy, the youngest sibling of the "Succession" clan. Roman (Kieran Culkin, in the role he was born to play) has returned with the rest of his spoiled enclave for the fourth and final season of the HBO hit about the aging patriarch of a media empire and his wealthy, dysfunctional family. 

Unlike most of his family, content to stab others in the back, Roman will stab you openly in the face.

Once upon a time, everybody loved Raymond, but in the HBO show, everyone loves to hate on Roman. He's the baby. He's weird. He can't even sit right. In every scene with Roman, he moves like a stray cat in pain, tightly wound with unresolved trauma, unable to be still and often, disbelieved despite being the smartest of his siblings. His sexual proclivities are not only out there, they're common knowledge, mocked frequently by his brothers and sister (who frankly, each have their own issues with intimacy).

He puts the filthy in filthy rich. But as boyfriends go, Roman wouldn't be the worst. Think about it. He's sensitive. He's been through hell and continues to live there. He's the most open-minded, nontraditional one in his storied often stodgy family, and once he decides he wants you, he'll defend your honor, like a petite, greasy knight.

The Roy family has made a blood sport out of criticizing each other, and Roman certainly gets his barbs in. His insults often land more solidly than the others' digs — again, because he's secretly the most intelligent of them all. It takes a strong wit to come up with quick lines like "Thought I heard a clown car pulling up," when his brother Connor (Alan Ruck) arrives. As Vulture writes, "The best thing about a Roman Roy insult is that he often says them to someone else in front of the person he's insulting." His quips are fast, subtle and muttered. Blink and you'll miss them. 

He's up for anything. And anyone. His romantic type is: person.

Roman is too smart to pass up good jokes — his impulsiveness means he can't let an opportunity slide — but he often utters them so much like an aside, they seem almost to be for himself. Despite the family tradition of cruel ribbing, Roman is the most non-judgmental. He's just telling the truth. He can't fake it. He says what comes into his head and lacks the "pretend to be normal" mask his siblings have perfected. He sucks at the "whole corporate flirt thing," "the metro poser bulls**t."

He also sees through people, directly telling them he hates them, if indeed he does. Unlike most of his family, content to stab others in the back, Roman will stab you openly in the face. When Shiv (Sarah Snook) tells him she loves him, he insults her and walks away while she grins like a jack-o'-lantern. He knows it's not real.

SuccessionJeremy Strong, Sarah Snook and Kieran Culkin in "Succession" (Photograph by Claudette Barius/HBO)Roman is always searching for realness and because of this, he's up for anything. And anyone. His romantic type is: person. He's willing and ready to try, offering to marry Gerri (J. Smith Cameron). Or, to kidnap her. His relationship with the older Gerri, which begins with an unexpected, sadomasochistic phone call, is one of the most interesting aspects of the show, partly because it's not explained away. Does Roman have mom issues or fear of real intimacy or just likes older women or maybe all of the above plus extra? We may never know.

SuccessionSarah Snook, Kieran Culkin and Jeremy Strong in "Succession" (Photograph by Claudette Barius/HBO)He doesn't pressure his girlfriends into sex — possibly because he's not actually having intercourse, maybe ever — but Roman's non-judgmental nature extends into the bedroom (or the bathroom, with Gerri barking insults behind the door). He's never going to kink-shame. He's never going to mock someone in the bedroom, as he himself has been unkindly mocked by partners. Yes, he sent lewd texts but he's an equal opportunity lewd text sender. The Instagram feed of Overheard LA, in a post about "Succession" characters as LA residents, wrote that Roman's age range on a dating app would be "18-90."

Let the least damaged among us cast the first stone. And Roman is definitely not that. But he knows he's messed up, unlike his family members who continue blithely on, hurting others until they do or don't figure it out. Roman has self-knowledge. He seems like he could or would go to therapy (he'd fall in love with his therapist, though, perhaps especially if they were mean to him). The AV Club describes Roman as "an a**hole with feelings," writing "there are some lines Roman will not cross when it comes to family — even if his siblings will." 


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The person he's hardest on is himself. Roman tries to spare others' feelings. He considers them, at least, refusing to sign the mean letter Shiv wrote about Kendall (Jeremy Strong). As a survivor of family abuse, Roman spends a lot of energy trying to smooth over conflict, trying desperately to patch a sinking ship, throwing himself in the water to drown if he has to.

He's the Roy with empathy, which does make him boyfriend material. The other reason Roman and Gerri are so compelling together is because Roman seems truly to care for her. And to see her: an older woman, a mother, in a male-dominated work force. He advocates for her. He sticks up for her. He calls her a "stone-cold killer b***h" with so much respect in his voice and admiration in his eyes.

Roman can't hit the ball (thanks, Dad) but he would go to bat for you, every time. And unlike the rest of his family, you know exactly where you stand with him. He's for real, even if his reality is unbearably difficult. 


By Alison Stine

Alison Stine is a former staff writer at Salon. She is the author of the novels "Trashlands" and "Road Out of Winter," winner of the 2021 Philip K. Dick Award. A recipient of an Individual Artist Fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA), she has written for The New York Times, The Guardian, and others.

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