Samantha Bee calls Sec. Kristjen Nielsen "fjull of shjit"

The late night host explains why Trump's new executive order is not a solution to celebrate

Published June 21, 2018 9:42AM (EDT)


For those who have finally taken a breath now that President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Wednesday to curb the horrific policy his administration enacted of separating immigrant children from their parents, "Full Frontal's" Samantha Bee warns, not so fast.

"If, like most people, you’ve been feeling a little uncomfortable with our Pre-K prisons, good news, the president fixed it with the next worst thing," Bee said on Wednesday’s episode of "Full Frontal With Samantha Bee." "Yay! No more baby internment camps, just regular internment camps. That’s what we call a win in 2018. To be clear, I am happy that at least these kids are theoretically going to stay with their parents, but Mommy & Me jails are not a solution, they’re not new, and they’re also not legal."

"We really need to be more specific with our hashtags," Bee added. "#KEEPFAMILIESTOGETHERBUTNOTINJAILYOUMONSTERWHATISWRONGWITHYOU."

The late night host pointed out that we've tried family detainment camps before, referencing the shameful Japanese internment camps during World War II. "We should not accept it as a reasonable compromise. We have to keep fighting," Bee declared.

The problem with Trump's executive order, which says that families — though kept together — could be detained "indefinitely" and that adults crossing the border illegally, even asylum seekers, would still be prosecuted, is it contrasts the 1977 Flores consent decree. That agreement mandates the government to release children from detention facilities within 20 days and to hold them in the "least restrictive conditions possible," Bee said. "So, no skinny jeans, no toddler shape wear and no jails."

"Baby jails are the worst possible thing, but Mommy & Me jails are a close second," she continued. "Any solution to this problem has to start from the premise that children should not go to jail. I know, I know, I'm such a radical, leftist."

Bee didn't just go after Trump Wednesday night, but also up against the many people in his administration who have been complicit and defended this immigration policy.

And first up was Homeland Security Secretary Kristjen Nielsen, who somehow denied that the separation policy even existed, or as Bee called her, "Kirstjjjenj Nielsjjenj." "The only thing we learned from her press conference is that Kirstjjjenj Nielsjjenj is fjull of shjit," Bee said.

The comedian also reviewed the many explanations from the Trump administration about why this immigration policy was happening, which have been ever-changing and differs literally depending on who you ask. But Bee thought she understood. To recap, she said: "it's so clear now, Democrats made the law, which was in the Bible, which is fair, because these children are tricking the government into separating them from their parents, and also, they're simultaneously separated and not separated. You know, just like Donald and Melania."

Then, Bee turned to a widely circulated clip of CBS' Gayle King, who said in a news segment that border patrol had reached out to the "CBS This Morning" team to alert them that "they are very uncomfortable, in their words, with the characterization of the word 'cages,'" King said. "They said it's not inaccurate, but they're very uncomfortable using the word cages."

The camera panned back to Bee, who at this point, was holding a drink, and said, "wow, who knew conservatives were so sensitive about the c-word, I should make a note of that." It was a nod to the controversy surrounding her calling Ivanka Trump a "feckless cunt," and the audience hollered.

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