While I hope never to be labeled a Karen, I have in my life been called a Sally more times than I care to admit. Sally, as in Sally Albright, one half of the titular duo of "When Harry Met Sally," a woman whose chief personality trait is that it takes her "an hour and a half to order a sandwich."
I love all kinds of food, and I think I'm a reasonably gracious guest. But when I'm calling the shots on a dish, I want what I want the way I want it. For example, I think chocolate chips and ice cream are fantastic when separate but disgusting combined. (Cold! Makes the chocolate chips! Waxy!) This trait makes me the sort of person whose simple, "Can I ask a few questions?" request to a waiter is inevitably met with a groan — "Oh, Christ, here we go!" — from one of my dining companions.
Sure, people like me may not be the most easygoing of sorts, but how could anyone disagree with Sally Albright's apple pie a la mode order? "I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla — if you have it. If not, then no ice cream. Just whipped cream — but only if it's real. If it's out of the can, then nothing."
Is that not, in fact, the platonic ideal of pie a la mode? I don't go to the store for "apples." I go for Fujis or Galas. And when I say "peanut butter," I usually mean "Cream-Nut," the Michigan-based brand I prefer above all other peanut butters, chiefly for its hilarious name and secondarily for its spectacular stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth factor. This stuff should come with a chisel, and I love it.
Whatever your preferred peanut butter, the spread gets put to noble use in a crunchy no-bake treat that shares some DNA with classic Rice Krispies treats. Here, corn flakes become the starring cereal, and peanut butter and butterscotch do the work that marshmallows and butter do in the old standby. The result is an addictive little flavor bomb that's sweet enough to stand up to a natural peanut butter, though your own favorite brand will do just fine.
When my daughters were little, they arbitrarily christened these treats "skedaddles." The name stuck forever — just like a big spoonful of Cream-Nut. If you're feeling ambitious, dip your skedaddles in melted chocolate to take them truly over the top.
Recipe: Cornflake Skedaddles, adapted from AllRecipes
Makes approximately 22 treats
- 1 bag of butterscotch chips
- 1/2 cup of creamy peanut butter
- 4 cups of corn flakes
- Add the chips and peanut butter to a large microwavable bowl.
- Microwave in 30 second increments, stirring after each, until the mixture is smoothly melted and blended.
- Stir in the corn flakes.
- From here, you can either: Spoon the mixture into a lightly oiled 8x8 square pan, or use a small cookie scoop to drop individual portions onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment.
- Allow to cool completely to firm up.
- If you like, microwave 8 ounces of dark chocolate at 30 second intervals until melted. Spread over your pan or dip single skedaddles in it.
- Store at room temperature, and enjoy within a few days.