The 1989 film “Road House” is a classic; one of the greatest good-bad movies ever made. It gave post-“Dirty Dancing” Patrick Swayze an iconic role as Dalton, a bouncer with a Ph.D. in Philosophy (from NYU, no less). Swayze, with his poofy '80s hair and khaki pants was suave. He did Tai Chi (shirtless and sweaty, ‘natch), mostly drank black coffee and emphasized the importance of being kind. He only flexed his muscles when provoked, and when he did, he would “seal your fate,” by aiming for the knee.
This remake of “Road House” has a chiller vibe than the 1989 film which was rough, mean and hungry.
The original “Road House” also featured more broken bottles and glass per minute than arguably any film in cinema history. And then there was Ben Gazzara admirably going all out, especially in a scene with a Monster Truck. Even Sam Elliott as Dalton’s mentor Wade provides the film with some zhuzh. “Road House” was rowdy (dozens of fights!) and raunchy (a striptease at the bar!) and utterly ridiculous. Of course it developed a loyal cult following, and almost everyone who sees it gives it a chef’s kiss.
Prime Video's remake of "Road House" sadly pales in comparison — in part because takes itself far too seriously, and its changes fail to improve a perfect original.
In this version directed by Doug Liman, Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) is recruited by Frankie (Jessica Williams) to be the muscle at her bar The Road House in the Florida Keys. (The original was set in Missouri and the Double Deuce bar from that film is now a restaurant next to a bookshop Dalton visits when he gets off the bus in Glass Key.)
Dalton, who sleeps in his car and is suicidal at the start of the film, reluctantly takes the job, but he handles the bar’s unruly clientele with aplomb and a few well-placed punches and kicks. Dalton even drives his victims to the hospital, which is where he meets Ellie (Daniela Melchior), a doctor who thinks he is a “rage-filled d**khead who hurts people for fun.” Dalton corrects her and says he does it for money.
So far, so what? This remake of “Road House” has a chiller vibe than the 1989 film which was rough, mean and hungry. And 2024 Dalton has a bemused smile on his face as he cracks bones and cracks wise. He enjoys a Cuban coffee and sleeps on a houseboat where he has nightmares about his days as a UFC fighter when he killed an opponent in the ring.
The plot kicks in as Ben Brandt (Billy Magnussen) wants to get rid of Dalton so he can take over the Road House to realize his dream of building a resort. If only his henchmen weren’t so inept! Ben, a struggling but determined alpha male, also ignores his incarcerated father’s efforts to execute a plan that would get rid of Dalton. Enter Knox (MMA fighter Conor McGregor in his film debut) a brawler who is first seen wearing only shoes, socks and a smile as he struts through the streets before heading to Glass Key, Florida.
Conor McGregor in "Road House" (Laura Radford/Prime Video)Knox injects some fun into this lackluster film because McGregor has taken a page out of Jason Momoa’s playbook that says to always be outrageously entertaining. He steals every scene by bulldozing everything in his path. He has fun swinging a golf club around and taking out all comers. The fights between Knox and Dalton are the film’s highlight, especially the one-on-one encounter in the film’s finale. Watching the shirtless Gyllenhaal and McGregor wrestle, punch, kick, stab and do everything but kiss each other may look tough and sweaty but it is almost as homoerotic as “Brokeback Mountain.”
Unfortunately, this “Road House” drags leading up to this exciting set piece. First, there is the romance between Dalton and Ellie, which feels perfunctory. It is more cringy than sweet seeing her flirt with him over how to pronounce “conch.” Ellie’s dad, known as Big Dick (Joaquim de Almeida) is the Sheriff in Glass Key, and he is squarely in Ben’s pocket. Big Dick takes Dalton in for questioning, which only makes him double down on wanting to save the Road House. Moreover, everyone tells the bouncer to bounce out of town.
In the title role, Jake Gyllenhaal is thoroughly charming using duct tape to seal a knife wound in one scene.
But Dalton is a man of honor, and he can’t do that. Besides, Ben is not as nasty as Ben Gazzara‘s villain in the original — even if he does send Dalton a message by burning down the local bookstore Dalton frequents. The stakes here just feel really low.
Another problem with this remake is that more action takes place outside the Road House than in the titular establishment. Dalton dispatches a guy on his houseboat or has a fight on Ben’s luxury yacht. There are a few scuffles and tussles in Frankie’s bar, but mostly the setting is used to showcase a series of musicians. (The film’s soundtrack is pretty catchy.) At least a little subplot about a large container of cash provides some satisfaction.
Jake Gyellenhaal in "Road House" (Laura Radford/Prime Video)In the title role, Jake Gyllenhaal is thoroughly charming using duct tape to seal a knife wound in one scene, and he exudes finesse taking out the dozens of guys who want to take him out. Dalton’s character, however, is underdeveloped, and Gyllenhaal delivers more action than emotion, but he acquits himself well as Dalton is pummeled or hit by a car.
In support, Magnussen dials up his bad guy too high, although it is fun to see him getting angry while being shaved on his boat in uncalm waters. His best moment is perhaps his most restrained — when he quietly menaces Dalton at the bar one night.
“Road House” 2024 feels more like an update to an original that didn’t need revising. It keeps the romance chaste, features an appealing diverse cast and skips the Sam Elliot mentor character altogether. At least the Florida setting is picturesque.
Nevertheless, Patrick Swayze’s Dalton could kick Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dalton’s butt any day. Now, that would be something to watch.
“Road House” is now streaming on Prime Video.
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movie stories by Gary Kramer
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