To the rest of us, this tragicomic experiment has already gone on too long. Why do these poster children for bad ideas need another 13 episodes back on the shore once they’ve returned from their failed European vacation? Although the jury is still out on whether car accidents, fistfights and carpal tunnel syndrome count in the “con” column to MTV producers, the fact is that any real dramatic tension on the show is usually leaked months ahead of time by the paparazzi, and Italy has been relatively quiet on that front. Not a good sign about the narrative arc this season.

Despite your personal feelings toward the show, the ratings on the “Shore” have inexplicably remained near the top of their time slot all three seasons … including the most recent incarnation last fall where literally nothing happened beyond Ronnie and Sammi Sweetheart toeing the line on domestic violence charges.

So while it’s tempting to ask why MTV hasn’t pulled the plug sooner on the show, a better question would be, “Where are they going to find new personalities big enough to fill the oompa-loompa-shaped hole left by Snooki?” A cash cow like “Shore” doesn’t stop running just because the players have started Derek Jetering their way into larger paychecks; it just attempts to stop the bleed-out. After salary disputes that have to be renegotiated every season, MTV is just letting go of the entire team — from Vinny to JWOWW and everyone in between — and hiring a new crop of eager young idiots who will work for peanuts compared to the millions Michael “the Situation” Sorrentino currently makes.

Although, if it’s a money issue, it seems a strange move on MTV’s part to give half of the original “Jersey Shore” cast their own spinoff shows — the Situation, Snooki, JWOWW and Pauly D. have already been signed by the network for their own programs. Again, though, the logic underneath this move is actually quite clever: MTV gets to trim the deadweight like Deena, Ronnie, Sammi and Vinny while keeping the break-out “stars” of the show to spawn even better ratings in four different time slots. It’s what the network does with “16 and Pregnant,” where the most “interesting” girls from each season get to go on to the next stage of reality show fame with “Teen Mom.”

And thus the circle of life continues. Hakuna matata, keep on trucking, and don’t forget to set your DVRs for “Pauly D.’s DJ Party,” coming next fall to a purgatory near you.

Update: MTV has denied the rumors of switching the current lineup: “We love the present cast, and their summer adventures have just begun. We currently have no plans to recast the show.”

2. Britney Spears is a comedian now

The singer brings the gift of laughter (along with auto-tune) to her latest single “I Wanna Go.“  I’d tell her not to quit her day job, but she doesn’t have one.

3. “Footloose” remake gets a trailer

After Zac Efron took a pass on the film,  MTV hired unknown Kenny Wormald to fill Kevin Bacon’s loose shoes. His biggest advantage as far as I can tell is looking pretty much exactly like Zac Efron.

4. Watching the Internet is bad for the environment

Every time we use our computer, we unleash .2 grams of carbon dioxide into the air, according to this new video. Still less less harmful than cow farts, though.

5. Charlie Day stops by Fallon for “Long Pour” beer challenge

I will literally watch anything Charlie Day is in. This is why I now own two copies of “Going the Distance” and have already pre-ordered my tickets for “Horrible Bosses.”

You have to remember, “Skins” premiered in America after the most expensive ad campaign in MTV history, which highlighted these unknown non-actors in a series of sweaty sex piles and rave dances. They weren’t trying to bury the sexual aspect of the show, they were trying to play it up. And it worked, in part because of the campaign and partly because the U.K. “Skins” had such a huge fan base over here to begin with. The series premiered to 3.26 million viewers, which is more than the U.K. show ever brought in (about three times as much) and one of the biggest in the network’s history. But a funny thing happened after the first episode: The ratings plummeted. And they kept plummeting.

See, when the British “Skins” had only 877,000 watching the premiere of its third season, that’s still about 5.9 percent of the U.K.’s market share. When the U.S. “Skins” fell below a million viewers, that embodied a much smaller percentage of the population, and was a good indicator it was time to pull the plug. This would have been true if the show was about dogs and ponies and ice cream, or teenagers taking Ecstasy and having graphic sex. Airing in a coveted prime-time spot on Monday nights on a major network, “Skins” needed to do way better in the numbers than its British counterpart. A little indie breakout hit wouldn’t even make waves here if only 877,000 people watched it, and if that’s how many viewers you attract on MTV during prime time? You’re screwed. If the IFC channel or FX had picked up “Skins”  rather than MTV, we might still have a chance for Season 2.

People are saying MTV’s decision to put the TV-MA logo on top of the show (meaning that it was unsuitable for anyone under 18) and the advertising pull-out was the reason the numbers dropped so hard and fast. I’d argue against that, too. It took several episodes for the PTC to start moralizing and for the warning label to show up. And even then, since when has that stopped people from watching something scandalous? And on MTV, the teen-sex network, for crying out loud! Sure, MTV may have mellowed in its old age, but it hasn’t mellowed enough to go from 3.4 million to under 1 million in the course of five weeks. No, what happened was that  people were excited for this new experiment, and it failed.

“Skins” wasn’t a “bad” show, per se, and som see could even argue that it had its merits. But it failed to deliver on the “Kids”-meets-”Gossip Girl” hype that MTV put all its money on, and combined with the controversy from the PTC (which still could have been marketed in the show’s favor, I think), “Skins” was never able to succeed in what its predecessor excelled at: being racy enough to compete with “reality” shows like “Teen Mom” or “Intervention,” while being sexy and sleek enough to compete with scripted teen offerings.